What happened to the soundclick players on the posts?

Seems Soundclick has finally disabled the embedded player.

I notice overnight all the music links on this blog are gone. Here is a blog post on how much that affected my hits: https://anttismusic...

Monday, August 3, 2020

I was asked what cause to donate for by a person who wanted to use my music on reddit. This is what I answered.

"I have a slowly bleeding vein (cavernoma) that is slowly bleeding to my brain causing me to have epilepsy and other psychiatric problems.

So if you are in US you could donate to Angioma alliance:


If you are in UK cavernoma alliance:


If you are in some other country, maybe you can find a epilepsy / brain damage foundation that works for you.

If you do feel like donating. Any cause really! And thank you a lot if you will! :)

I really do wish that DOCTORS knew more about cavernoma's, in my case they dropped the ball entirely. Ideally I would like DOCTORS to be better educated about this possibility. Ideally I would like doctors to send more patients with weird neurological symptoms to have MRI's / EEG's taken. Worldwide.

God I feel bad for people in third world countries suffering from these kinds of things without access to medications / doctors. I guess they just die.

It would be great if there could be some kind of charity program that would offer surgeries /medications for those people."

Friday, July 31, 2020

Plastic Angel



EDIT: Stuck in edit hell. The project got so heavy it was not rendering right. I bumped 
the violin to a stem so it would render right. Also, I had a lot of problems with distortion 
depending what asio driver I rendered it with. The rickenbacker bass line was also very clunky 
which made just quantize it 100 percent and then bump the swing to 100 to compensate. 

I know the lyrics are a dumpster fire. It is essentially two distinct ideas clashing. 
The Christian "glory.." part and "plastic angel" part. Plastic angel initially came from the 
thought that since I am now brain damaged. My only prospect of being with a woman would 
be with a prostitute. Which is not something I have done. But it is the truth. 

Most likely I will never have another relationship. 

Thinking about the prostitute made me think about how sad profession it must be. 
To have sex with people who are damaged in one way or another, or desperate.
They probably cry a lot. Yet. Jesus hung with prostitutes.  

Thinking about it it is about as ugly as the scene in midnight cowboy where the
main character is asked to worship with the person who hired him. Guilt. It is about 
the guilt of being a john and guilt of being a prostitute. It is about faith that the sin
is forgiven. Yet somehow you have fallen from grace.

Plastic Angel

plastic angel 

plastic angel 

she is my angel now 
that i am all alone 
she is my angel now 
a muse to my song

she is a fallen angel 
and i am no saint
she is a fallen angel 
crying in the night 

(latin choir) 

plastic angel flying by 

plastic angel flying by so high 


my plastic angel 


glory to the God who made all things
all kings all wings that were made to be flown 
glory to the God who made all things 
forgave our sins baby you are beautiful 

i am seeing angels on the sky 
plastic angels 

fallen angel 

fallen angel 

plastic angel 

plastic angel 

fallen angel 

she is a fallen angel 
and i am no saint
she is a fallen angel 
crying in the night 

(latin choir) 

fallen angel flying by 

fallen angel flying by so high 

i see you smile 

plastic angel 




The project is made with FLstudio v 20.7:

The FLP file is at: (83 Plastic Angel.zip)

Thursday, July 30, 2020

I think am on the line for the surgery now.

I had a meeting scheduled with a psychologist to assess if I am capable of having the surgery already. It was supposed to be at the beginning of next month. According to her she sees no reason why the surgery should not happen.

So I think I am on the line now. My neurologist told me after this visit I would be on line if the psychologist thinks I am capable of having it psychologically.

Maybe I could have the neuralink chip implanted to my head while they do it:



I actually wrote a story in the beginning of this year about having a chip implanted to me which would cure my epilepsy - BEFORE knowing I had the cavernoma:


I think writing the story in part inspired me to get my third MRI which finally led to the discovery of the cavernoma which we now know (through video eeg) is the reason for my epilepsy..

In the story I had a brain surgery. Now I am having one in real life too.. Only the neuralink chip is missing.. Elon? :D